Since the day that I was introduced to wearing an analyst’s hat back in college days, I have embraced and loved it like my second nature. And over the years, it has become me and me has become it until I craved for something else.
I am a corporate diva and deliverable has always been part of my vocabulary. I would always push myself to deliver – that was my training from where I grew up, good ol’ college days and now, corporate world. Imagine my frustration when nothing comes out of me – horrible.
We all have reasons why we push ourselves – breadwinners, of wanting to be on top of the world, of wanting to get noticed and/or be accepted. Mine is simply because I am my parents’ daughter. They push us to be the great at all times – no ifs and buts, only keep moving. While I don’t consider myself a warrior because I falter and commit mistakes like everyone else, I take warning signs by heart and study them. I don’t want to live a life full of regrets – wanting to go back in time when you’re not supposed to anymore or worse, wanting to be somebody else.
I am now in an awkward situation – it is not like a super life altering situation but it is making an impact on me and my eating habits (I can now eat 3 and half cups of rice in one seating). I wake up with the sound of the deepest sigh and doze still with a hopeful heart that things will become a little bit better the next day.
While my tired feet tackle every street of this pretty awkward situation, my hands are being held by Someone great and some earthly angels who would pray for me and incessantly throw me good vibes when I am losing mine.
Tests are good, I was told. My true colors will come out beautifully as I struggle and find my way to where He is putting me. I just have to be still and always know that I am not really alone in my journey.
