Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Love after Love


Love after Love
By Derek Walcott


The time will come

when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

2008 Thanks


Ever heard of the an old Christmas Song with lines “When you are weary and you can’t sleep just count your blessings instead of sheep…”? I just did that a couple of nights ago and yes, I fell asleep – fast.

And despite of such continuous challenging times, 2 nights ago was an apt reminder of how blessed I am. So, before I bid 2008 adieu, I made a list of things that made me forget (sometimes) all those seemingly endless Life's quizzes.

1. I have been saved by Someone greater than any of us – and it cost him His life.

2. My parents’ abundant love.

3. My siblings’ constant running to me – asking for inputs, whatever.

4. Hon’s super stubborn love.

5. Really great and wacky friends.

6. A promising career.

7. For the resources to combat clots.

8. Everyday little miracles.

9. The Ateneo winning the 2008 UAAP Men’s Basketball Championships.

10. The Bonfire experience.

11. Old friends finally walking down the aisle.

12. Newly found friends and chika-mates.

13. Birthday gifts like a huge Celine bag and a pair of Via Venetto shoes.

14. Changi Airport and Singapore Airlines experience.

15. For the many times I was humbled by my own mistakes.

16. After a freak accident, my cousin Patrick turned out pretty okay.

17. Swimming with the Butandings without a life best on.

18. Meeting 5 - year old Gab in school and claiming that I am his future wife.

19. Seeing my baby nephew, Miguel smiles at me.

20. Wedding of Alvin and Christine cum Kaka gathering.

21. The 18 books (just finished Breaking Dawn around 2am December 31st) I’ve finished this year!

22. For the many unguarded moments.

23. Christmas party of Imaj. Super fun!

24. 11 pages of handwritten letter from US.

25. Unexpected email messages from long lost relatives, classmates and old friends.

26. Facebook!

27. The many movies I've seen this year.

I raise a glass of margarita for the year that was and the coming year. Cheers!

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Pacman Show



Like most Filipinos, my man and I cheered for Manny Pacquiao, with the rest of everyone who stormed National Sports Grill in Greenbelt 3 yesterday. After the 10am Sunday Service, we hurriedly went to the said place to watch the fight. The place was rocking with fans from all walks of life. Never mind if only a handful got to comfortably sit and drank beer while watching the game. We (Hon and I) for instance, sat on the rails just to have a good view of the game. Imagine that!

I never liked boxing but for some reason, this Pacman made me want to watch him fight Oscar Dela Hoya. Maybe because I liked the idea that he’s the underdog tackling the Golden Boy and that the fight was coined as the Dream Match.

From what I’ve heard and read, Oscar Dela Hoya is some great fighter but I was a little dismayed with his performance. He ended up being Pacquiao’s punching bag. I am no boxing expert but from what I’ve seen yesterday, he was no match for Pacquiao.

Much was expected from Dela Hoya and sadly, he did not deliver well. I was pretty stunned at how our very own stopped his opponent from glowing gold. Pacquiao was just too fast for Dela Hoya, he was simply the better fighter yesterday. It was a mismatch, in favor of the smaller guy.

I may not have clapped and yelled the hardest, unlike my man who almost lost his voice from shouting and chanting “Manny! Manny! Manny!” like the rest of the crowd, but Manny Pacquiao’s win made me feel extra proud about being a Filipino.


Hindsight


"But even without this disaster brought about by greed and capitalism gone wild—we would still have troublous times ahead. Just remember this — we are now ninety million; some 10 year ago, more than half of our grade school children stopped schooling at grade 5 — we now have millions of young adults illiterate and ill trained for any job which modern industry demands. Our natural resources are depleted and they are not renewable. It is not just physical poverty which condemns us to penury — it is poverty of the spirit, the endemic corruption, the gross and obscene irresponsibility of our elites which will bring about the implosion that will destroy this nation — not the ongoing communist rebellion or the Moro separatist impulse."

- F Sionil Jose

Monday, December 1, 2008

Twilight



At 25, I shamelessly join the bandwagon of teenagers (and their Moms) that is hooked to this Twilight saga. Due to this constant prodding of a girl friend based in New York, I saw myself gave in to this almost endless nudging – head to a local bookstore and got hooked to Twilight. I have the books – all of them!

Under normal circumstances, I am no fan of these blood-sucking creatures. Having read Interview with the Vampire (published in Rolling Stone) of years ago, I know I will never like vampires but not until some months ago.

A Mormon Mom based in Arizona, Stephenie Meyer - who for some reason has this overly flair for words, wrote the book. I swear! I have never read anything before that can ever beat the cheesy lines in this book that for a while made me want to puke. No kidding.

Twilight is not about vampires and werewolves; instead it is a teenage love story of a vampire and a human being. Expect a lot of kissing in the book but no sexual intercourse (Edward is a 107 year-old vampire!), so I guess it is safe for teenagers to read the book but still with some parental guidance – what with the gory fighting scenes and parents should also warn their kids about wanting to be ridiculously bitten by a vampire and have him eternally – never mind if that means dying.

My first meeting with Edward Cullen was worthy of the Greeks, although I know a number of girls drooling over Jacob too. He was beautiful and really took my breath away. I’d definitely want him to be seating beside me in all my subjects in school! His character made me want to become my younger self – screaming my lungs out at the sight or thought of this guy that caught my attention.

Bella Swan, to me, is the typical outcast in school that caught the most sought after boy’s attention – not because she was that pretty but he craves for her blood. She was clumsy, pretty in her own way and is the perfect catch for Edward Cullen – her parents were divorced, Mom remarried and her Dad was a little distant. In her teenage mind, all she ever has is Edward, who constantly fights his desire to suck Bella’s blood and kill her.

And so, I was pretty excited to watch the movie adaptation… I did. Twice!

Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen may not be the guy I had in mind but he was great as Edward. He was always Cedric Diggory to me but not until I’ve seen him in the movie. He has this stare that if I were Bella, I’d melt a thousand times or probably shrink ala Ally McBeal. Despite being a vampire (he and his family are vegetarians), he looked pretty safe to me – I didn’t see any of his fangs. Did you notice how gorgeous he was when he got out of the car, sporting a pair of wayfarers? I’d love to bring him home and introduce to my folks. And boo to his make up!

Kirsten Swan wonderfully played Bella Swan. In fact, she was almost everything I expected Bella to be – only that she was not that clumsy. Although I can hardly relate to her, I know what it’s like to fight for something you hold so dear – sometimes, to a fault. Edward is her first love; so we expect her to throw everything away for the sake of this love – even if that means her own death.
Billy Burke was super funny with his portrayal as Charlie Swan (Bella’s Dad). He reminds me of those Dads (mine included) who act silly when boys “take away” their precious daughters.

I did enjoy watching the movie – as it was able to beautifully capture most of the important scenes from the book. They did a great job in minimizing the cheesy lines from the book and I would love to have seen the characters grow in the movie, the way they did in the book – but I know that you cannot “explain” everything in the movie with that 2- hour airtime. And if I may suggest, they need a better make up artist. The Cullens are just ridiculously effing pale!

While waiting for the next movie adaptation, I will let myself get lost in New Moon.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Little Boy



I dreamt of a little boy
Chubby cheeks and fingers
His face glows
And has the sweetest smile.

I know he was mine, ours
In time, we’ll meet again
I swear, all that I am
Will be poured out to this little boy.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Dear Patience



I have a far-reaching
Patience – ever.
Probably, if possible
Some award giving bodies
Could hand me out
A trophy wrapped in faux gold.

This very soul
Could probably tackle
So much smart
But, maybe only for awhile
I could yelp my guts out
And my voice can be deafening.

I have a far-reaching
Patience – ever.
The world knows that.
You know that.
To rebel,
Is not even in my nature.

I may not be as daring
Like the ones you had before me
I will not retaliate
By giving myself away
To some strange longing –
Loose woman is not I.

I have a far-reaching
Patience – ever.
But don't abuse it.
For you might wake up
With no trace of me
Can ever be seen.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

No More


While sharing tuna turnover,
Blueberry cheesecake and buttered corn and carrots,
They engaged in a conversation -
Neither of them liked.

She started it.

With fire in his eyes -
Hurt and angered,
Left the w/g bond on the table,
And walked away.

She wanted to follow him,
But her feet won't move.
No tears,
But her heart was screaming...

SORRY!

Maybe, this is it.
No more them.
Goodbye to this
Team that can not be beaten.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Hush Now



Hush now
and just be still
know that,
as written in The Book,
all things work together
for our good.

Hush now
yours is such a great life
there's no need
for you to live in that
dismal and hollowed place
and comparing yourself to others.

Hush now
you have been saved
by Someone greater
from the scars and ugly rigor
of old clots
such revival is a blessing.

Hush now
gather yourself
wear your prettiest smile
just like the good 'ol times
show them how well
you were raised by your folks.

Hush now
remind yourself
how many times this man
have chosen you
over so many things, people
and sometimes himself.

Hush now
you are such a beauty
what with that heart
and the values
passed on to you.
Yes, dear
you are indeed beautiful.

Hush now
don't tumble
remember how hard
you fought
to win those battles
you have chosen to fight.

Hush now
you have all the reasons
why not to frown
you have a life
others would wish for themselves.
Love, you are that blessed!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Whitewashed


"I've always said that we Filipinos start being racist not just when we go abroad but even while we languish here like prisoners dreaming of escape. Nothing shows that more than whitening lotion, which Thompson rightly points to. That has got to be one of the most mind-boggling things for foreigners who come here to get a tan. It speaks volumes about the mentality of the colonized. If you are dark-skinned in this country, you are reduced either to an object of ridicule or to comic relief. Spanish and American rule may have physically gone, but not so their psychological residue. To this day, I cannot forget what the mother of a Filipino contestant to a world beauty contest said, which was that she couldn't understand how the judges could prefer a "negra" to her daughter who was a mestiza.

Even now we suffer the fate of a people who have been whitewashed. By seeing only what is light, we are constantly kept in the dark."

-Conrado De Quiros, There's the Rub

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blueprint Drama



The weak echo of weeping
Tears midway
And then fighting hard
From it to ever kissing the ground.

Embracing the silence
Thinking of anything just pleasing
Or whatever is imagined
Hoping to be treated better.

The hands are bruised
Blisters on such hands hurt
But as inspired by logic and love
They say that it pays to wait.

But the grip is almost loosening
Waiting hurts
When the difference from today and last week
Is not that evident; same-same.

Witnessing what you want
Happens to almost everyone you know
But never to self
Dramatic against the odds.

Finding ways to combat the blues
Tackling whatever, come what may
But here's in the offing
Cease waiting for life to happen.


Monday, November 10, 2008

Loathe 'Em



Over the years of appetite fondness of doing analysis work, I have become a very keen observer. Trust me, even the littlest details I notice – from how one's hands move while s/he talks, how one refuses to make an eye contact when talking to a woman, the curving of one's lips when angered, raising of an eyebrow when the topic was rather taboo, dirty fingernails and the list goes on.

Late at night, when silence becomes resounding, I would often indulge myself to serious thinking. Recalling anything and everything that happened to me that same day or sometimes, few days earlier or even rehearsing some possible scenarios in my head. And when really inspired, I would jot down words or phrases that would often strike me – both in a good way and otherwise.

Forgive me if instead of parading words/phrases that struck me in a good way, I’ve decided to be a little different and publish words/phrases that made me cringe or even puke.

Here goes my Top 10:

1. Basically – I would often hear this from speaker/s or those who were trying to explain something but you see, what is basic to the speaker may not be basic to the audience or listener.

2. Honestly – Every time I hear the word comes out of someone’s mouth, I’d be tempted to retaliate with “Does that mean you’ve never been honest?”

3. Sheesh, Man – Two things. I just never liked this sheesh. What does it really mean, anyway? And second, I am not a man.

4. Ma’am – Out of respect, it gives me a certain pride when co-workers would call me Ma’am but when used in a different tone, especially in an argument – being called Ma’am makes me want to strike back with my sometimes-sharp tongue.

5. You know what I mean – I used to hear this from a former boss and every time he would lash these words out, I’d be tempted to answer back with “No, I don’t”. You know what I mean, sometimes make me feel like I look/sound stupid.

6. You get me – For the same reason mentioned above.

7. Truth to the matter – Whatever happened to simplify? KISS? I rest my case.

8. Practically – I used hear this from an insecure, old woman – who includes this word in every sentence. “I practically did everything.” “Practically, this is how it should be done”. And the letter A in the word was continually pronounced as E, thus – “prEcticElly”. Annoying.

9. Three – I heard this word pronounced as tree more than 20x, putting an emphasis on the letter T.

10. Oh my god, Whatever – Sometimes they’re cute to use but when overly done, they're already irritating.


I have 3 Cattleya fillers filled with words/phrases such as the above but since I really don’t want to paint myself a little more edgy than I already am, I’ve decided that those Cattleya fillers and their contents are solely for my amusement. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not a linguistic geek but I just happen to have this “weird” way of observing people and then writing such observations down on a neat, sometimes scented paper.

So there.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Talkin' Talk


During my singing-with-my-band days, we used to play this song a lot of times and most recently after digging old but cool stuff, I am reminded of how my younger years were like. Crazy yet serene and not that complicated. Those were the days filled with a whole lot of singing, listening to music and yes, memorizing lyrics by heart.


Just let me have my flow!

Talkin' talk is not just talk
Being there is half the walk
If you wanna know yourself / stay with me
You gotta do the talkin' talk

I try to reach you
Get right down to the issue
We're not happy with how it is today

Sure, there are happy days and
Good things to dwell upon but
When you are mad you walk away

You call me baby and
I just shrug my shoulders because there's
Something important on my mind

Don't wanna pick a fight but
We don't see eye to eye and
We really need to get things straight.

So what if we disagree
Don't wanna change you
I don't want you on your knees

Are you afraid your loving
Will fade away
Whenever deep talk is released?

Communication, baby,
That's what I claim today
It don't have to be bad.

I wanna know your mind
And you to be into mine
So we can get ahead

Can we talk?





Sunday, November 2, 2008

Just Visiting



I saw him again.

Yes, he showed up in my dreams again. He looked well and was clad in a white shirt. He was just staring at me - blank and emotionless. I tried to motion, as if daring him to tell me what's wrong - or tell me anything at all but my body grew stiff, staring back at his blank face. I recognized that face, that built. The first and last time I saw him was back in 2003, when he was no longer breathing and everyone who knew him was mourning.

Now, I am scared.

The last time I checked, he was never in my thoughts. I don't have any memories of him - we were never introduced, most of those in that household, I don't know him personally... I just knew him by name.

My afternoon nap was halted. I woke up feeling cold and really scared. The moment I got hold of myself again, I grabbed my BIV and prayed - whispering a heartfelt prayer for his soul.

Having lost so many loved ones already to Death, I have learned that our life here is just really temporary. While I don't welcome Death just yet, I am aware that everyone has to go through that. And I am pleased that he, who just showed up in my dream, is in a better place now.

And I'd like to think that he was just visiting.


Friday, October 24, 2008

If I Were A Boy


If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear, I'd be a better man.
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed.
- Beyonce Knowles


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Rage


Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Today


To this day,
I still haven't given up.
I still ask the same questions.
Of where, why and how.

To this day,
I still have a little spark of hope.
That no matter what,
Such tragedies will soon end.

To this day,
I still try to fight a good fight.
That even in this trying times,
I haven't lost my faith on humanity.

To this day,
I wear my heart on my sleeves.
That while I tackle this monster,
I go about my usual business.

To this day,
I wake up and still be thankful.
For my work, family and friends.
For the triumphs - big and small.

To this day,
Even if I am getting impatient,
I still play by the rules.
Placing my bets on what is fair and right.

To this day,
While I am almost fed up,
Blessings are just pouring out.
Overwhelmed but not bruised.

To this day,
I know who and what I am.
And simply being my usual self,
I am driving some bored ones nuts.

To this day,
While I am not singing "Walking on Sunshine",
I am walking under the sun.
And singing "No day but today".



Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Gabfest



Did it ever occur to you when after the first meeting and exchanges of random thoughts, you feel good vibes about the other person?

People closest to me should know by now that I am not a very sociable person. In normal circumstances, I don't mingle with people I don't know - most especially when I don't even like the crowd. Now this pretty weird that just happened to me several weeks back, is something I cherish up to this day.

I met this person in school, when everyone was cheery and sporting hues of blue. It was at the Bonfire. After endless nudging from friends to drop by the school after work, I watched myself gave in to their wanting. Wearing my corporate outfit and high heeled shoes to boot, I braved the traffic and drizzle just so I could make it to the 6pm Thanksgiving Mass and later on, experience my first ever university Bonfire.

Obviously, I did not make it at 6pm but I was early for the program. Good friends Jerome and Lucas met me up at our "tambayan" and I was really surprised to see a lot of people in school. I know, it was a huge celebration but I did not expect for the crowd to grew that big. Really, it was overwhelming!

On our way to finding a good spot for the program-cum-concert, we bumped into some of Jerome's old friends. The chit-chat he promised us ballooned into an almost endless conversation. Soon, Lucas and I found ourselves amongst these "geeks", banging our heads and laughing our hearts out.

Now this person, for some reason, zeroed out on me. Asking me questions that made me blush. Serious. We share a lot of things in common - love for kids, coloring books, answering Sudoku, writing, swimming and Matchbox. At one time, his chubby fingers even slided into my right hand. I just smiled and looked away. Lynne must gave noticed this that she texted me asking, "Wt d hel is goin on bt u nd dt boy?" I just shrugged my shoulders and winked at her. Later on I just texted her back, "Great night!"

I wanted to stay until wee hours but I had to leave. And when I did, I was stunned for not even getting his name. Later on I found out that his name is Gabriel and that he has been asking Jerome about me.

And he's just 5 years old.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Great Times


Among other things I sincerely love about my man is that he shares the same passion with my Mom - continuous learning, a seemingly endless love for Economics and great love for kids.

I grew up in a household where I heard more than a dozen times names like Peter Drucker and yes, Adam Smith that as early as 3rd grade, I already know what I am NOT to take up in college.

Now, before one started to think that I hate my Mom, I don't.
In fact, between my parents, she best personifies what it means to love beyond imperfections without sacrificing right for wrong and that most of the values I embrace are those taught by her through example and otherwise. It just so happened that early on, I already wanted to be my own self. You know, find my niche and be away from my parents' "big" shadows.

Moving on...

Last night, despite certain apprehensions, I've decided to attend a talk where my man and another guy from his Monday group were invited to speak about the most recent Economics tragedy that hit the world after The Great Depression in the late 1920's. Hon as the first speaker, discussed the "basics" or the things we should know about the recent Economics crisis. Ron, on the hand, talked about what we should do when things like these happen. And let me tell you, no one experienced nosebleed and nobody zoned out.

Although I sat in my man's previous classes in school, last night was the first time I saw him conduct about such a topic (or anything for that matter). And really, it was a delight to be his student (and Ron's too!). It is already given that his greatest gift is his uncanny ability to communicate, to teach and to dispense knowledge no matter who his students are - young, old, professionals and even expatriates. As his partner, I am really proud of this man whom I will meet in some big stage soon.

After the talk, Hon and I decided to have dinner in one of our favorite places in the world, Greenbelt. We talked, laughed, walked with his left hand clasped with my right and we were acting silly. Crazy and quite extraordinaire couple, we are.

So, despite having funny butterflies in my stomach, I had a great night. It was a pleasure to be just learning, being a student again and I was seated amongst Makati professionals, who are all trying to make a difference in the workplace. And after a long day's work, it was very comforting to be just seating beside my man, sharing California Maki and Wasabe.

Great times.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Swimfan



This piece is neither about a Jesse Bradford flick of years back nor about Michael Phelps, rather this is about an obsessed pychopath stalker who made it it's mission to make my life miserable or so she thought.

My claim to fame was when I gave my resounding yes to this man I have been with for the past 5 years. Although, I was pretty much aware that he appears on TV commercials, I was not too keen about it. Really, I did not make a big fuss out of it. I made him wait for almost a year before I have finally decided to hop into this relationship and little did I know that there are envious eyes watching us.

Come February 2004, my seemingly foes just sprung from hell and they made it a habit to hound me non-stop. Over the years, I have learned to deal with them, ignore them and go about my usual business but not until a couple of days ago when I received a phone call from a woman, shouting at the top of her effing lungs and threatening my life. I'd be lying if I say I was not terrified. I mean, this psychopath just threatened me!

I have never cried so much in my lifetime before this psychopath's call. Makes me wonder - my last name is neither common nor famous, my savings and earnings combined will still not make me to the Forbes' List and the last time I checked, I never took someone or something from her. This psychopath is my man's greatest effing fan and she's running after me!

Sheesh!

After gathering myself together again, I pulled a lot of strings just so I could nail down this psychopath and I am still working on it. I had to do this alone - the last time I poured out, I was never really assured of anything and only received sarcasm. But I am no longer harboring so much ill feelings about receiving sarcasm of the late. In fact, this experience made me realize a lot about myself - that despite this woman and her accomplices doing and telling me nasty things, I have proven that I really make their life miserable just by being my usual self; that no matter what happens, I am not always alone. I have with me Someone who sees everything and right now, as always, He is my greatest weapon.

Yesterday, I made a huge and inconvenient decision - reaching a point where I am convinced that I have to lay low, get away from the envious crowd and forget about technology - only for awhile. I maybe a technology junkie but I am not a big fan, not anymore. Earlier, I was seriously battling with "Why do I ALWAYS have to adjust for these creeps?!" and lost a lot of water off my system due to excessive crying - which is very ridiculous to me now.

I am good at what I do, I have a wonderful family to back me up, few and great friends who are just as crazy and this man who chooses and plans an ever after life with me. This psychopath may have caused me to panic a little but my spirit is not bruised.

Maybe I should star in the next Eagle Eye movie, yes?


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Crazy about Milk



Much has been said and written about this milk scare and my words may not really make a huge impact anymore but I am one of those people tremendously affected by it.

No, I am neither Chinese nor a super fan of their products but I am a milk drinker. My good Mom trained me to start drinking my milk using a glass instead of a bottle months before she sent me off to school for the first time, when I was about 4 and since then, drinking milk twice a day (morning and night) has been a habit so hard to break.

When news spread across the globe about having found melamine substance on milk products, I freaked out. Without further checking facts just yet, my imagination went wild and I find it very difficult to cross out drinking milk on my everyday's to do list. The feeling was almost akin to losing someone really close. I know, that is an exaggeration but trust me, drinking milk is like breathing to me. Told you, a habit that is so hard to break.

Now the world is staring at China again, only this time we're no longer amazed. Read the newspaper everyday - aside from articles about the upcoming US elections and Philippines politicking crap, you'd find an article or two about this milk scare. And for the love of milk, my limited mind could not really comprehend why on good Earth will someone include such a substance on milk products knowing that its not supposed to be there in the first effing place? Have we become too greedy about profit now that we've lost our sense of humanity? That we've stopped caring at all?

What makes this even more maddening for me is that most of the reported casualties are kids - 53,000 children got sick and 4 died. Haay. Sad and really maddening at the same time.

Please don't get me wrong, I am neither trying to be self-righteous here nor putting them down. What I am just pointing out is, aside from this being a selfish ranting of a heavy milk drinker - while we're all busy making a living, I hope that we're not trying to advance ourselves at the expense of other people.

By the way, I was only relieved from hysteria when Pura Fresh Milk, Anchor and Bear Brand made to the safe list.


Saturday, September 27, 2008

K's LSS



I have been listening to The Script for weeks now and my ears are plugged to their music almost all the time - on my way to work, school, on my way home, before I sleep and their songs are included in my repertoire during my concert in the shower.

Of all the songs in their self titled album,The Script, one song stands out - The Man Who Can't Be Moved. Cheesy as this may seem but the said song reminds me of a man super dear to me.



Friday, September 26, 2008

Deafening


What you are shouts so loudly in my ears,
I cannot hear what you say.
- RW Emerson


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Fly, Eagle, Fly

There is nothing sweeter than winning this season's UAAP Championship at the expense of an age long university rival. Yes, baby. Unless you're from Mars, you should know by now that The Ateneo Blue Eagles just proved that they're (we're) the best team this year and hopefully in the succeeding years.

Bummer me, I was not able to watch the game because of work but trust me, my phone was beeping and ringing like crazy yesterday afternoon. My inbox was so flooded by text messages from Hon, Jo and all my friends/classmates who were actually at the Araneta watching and cheering their lungs out for our school.

Like all the other sixth man, my heart races extra faster when we're playing Green simply because our Blue pride is at stake. Hehe. Admit it or not,there's nothing like a classic UAAP Basketball game between AdMU and DLSU. It
is no longer just a basketball game but it has become a major event.

After receiving a phone call from my classmate, Lynne telling me that we won - I hurriedly went to the loo and jumped like I was 5. I was more than ecstatic!

Much credits are being given to HIM (+AMDG+), players (hands down!), coaching staff, those who helped them during the practices and games, sponsors and the rest of the Ateneo community who never failed to show the world that they're (we're) indeed the Blue Eagles' sixth man (win or lose, its the school we choose).

ONE BIG FIGHT!


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Superwoman



Everywhere I'm turning,
Nothing seems complete.
I stand up and I'm searching,
For the better part of me.

I hang my head from sorrow,
Slave to humanity.
I wear it on my shoulders,
Gotta find the strength in me.

Because I am a Superwoman.
Yes I am, yes she is.
Still when I'm a mess,
I still put on a vest -
With an S on my chest.
Oh yes,
I'm a Superwoman.
-Alicia Keys

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Seriously



I.
DON'T.
WANT.
TO.
BE.
EFFING.
PLAGUED.
ANYMORE.

WHY.
DON'T
YOU.
JUST.
STOP?

WHAT.
THE.
EFF.
DO
YOU.
WANT.
FROM.
ME?


Sunday, September 21, 2008

No More



Gone are the days when...

I'd fly to hide myself;
To avoid sudden outburst.
When all I could do;
Is just cry and take all the hurt.

I'd choose to walk alone;
Tackle my sorrows bit by bit.
Be the nicest girl - ever;
While the world throws its coldest stare.

When the sole person I could trust at the moment -
Is myself.
Turning in silence -
Shutting the world behind me.

Now, I am saying no more.
I'm not to be pulled down.
Ignore me all you want -
No tears are to be shed from these very eyes.

Hit me with your sharpest words;
Push me harder.
And I'm not going to be nice.
I'll strike back -
Because I am saying no more.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Wishlist



Despite the tangles and setbacks, my life is really blessed.

The colorful personalities whom I share the same bloodline with - that is my family, almost always never fail to give me the boost when the "outside" world refuses to give me my peace. Wonderful friends - old and new, are my not so secret weapon. They know what to do with me when am a little down and when the situation calls for it, they slap my loonies away. There are those "little" miracles that happen everyday, when I managed to pull through and squeeze my way out from the toughest situation. And there is this man who ,despite of himself - always makes me want to be become better, has shown me in more than a million and one ways how much he is loving me and has the galls to take my idiosyncrasies.

Life is good. I couldn't ask for anything more... WRONG! This is what birthday wishes are for and I made a list. *wink

- For this country to rise like all the other Asian countries. Whether we admit it or not, we're being left behind na.
- Really good leaders.
- Good health for me and everyone I love and really care about.
- Unlimited source of traveling mercy.
- More teachers who REALLY care about what their students learn from them.
- Goodbye clots. For good.
- US President and VP seats for McCain and Palin, respectively.
- A Nora Ephron book.
- The 3rd installation of Eragon trilogy book.
- Apo Hiking Society concert tickets.
- A new Marc Jacobs bag.
- UAAP Championship for The Ateneo this year.
- A new set of eyes to always see the bigger picture of every situation I'd be in.
- And yes, world peace!


Saturday, September 13, 2008

Silver Day



Most people I know find me a little weird simply because I am different. I'm not always like everyone else, you see.

Take these:
- My friends' list has always been dominated by the male specie (no, am neither a lesbian nor a loose woman) but I have always considered myself as the super "arte" person in the room.
- I don't mind wearing a dark complexion even if almost everyone in this country automatically categorized you pretty ONLY when you're fair skinned - never mind if you're dumb.
- I have the guts to ride a skateboard and kick some pretty boys' ass yet I blush when they "run" after me.
- Roaches, snakes, dogs, cats, mascots and clowns scare the wits out of me.
- A bottle of San Mig Light can make me really dizzy but am still a little sober even after 4 shots of Vodka Tonikor 7 shots of Tequilla.
- I don't drink coffee - ever.
- Rainy days, V-day, December and my own birthday make me a little sick.

Which reminds me that in 4 days, I turn 25. For someone who enjoys planning and doing all those nitty-gritty stuff to make someone else's birthday special, I morphed to be some female Scrooge on my birthday. Why? I'm not really sure but my wild guess is that maybe because I am not comfortable with surprises, getting caught off guard and the likes.

But please, don't get me wrong. I appreciate the greeting and all the drill - its just that after I turned 19, birthdays are no longer that enchanting for me.

Now after not being a big fan of my own birthday for the past 4 years, I feel weird about getting excited that I'm reaching my silver year. I have the excitement of my 5 year old self when my Mom baked the prettiest and yummiest cake ever for my birthday.

Whoever said that that there's nothing really special about turning 25, well, I beg to differ. There are so many things that happened to me for the past 2 years that it is a miracle that am still very able to this very day.

So on Wednesday, I will wear my prettiest smile and savor the day I can coin my silver day.

Ha! Maybe I am weird.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Inside Out

I am small
I feel like no more than nothing at all
But when I lose sight of daylight
And my darkness falls
I'll be strong
And if not now it won't be long
From when I lose sight of daylight
And my hands are weak and my soul is tired
Oh, I'll give my love from the inside out.
- Sara Bareilles



Monday, August 18, 2008

First Time


After dinner at Avenetto last night with some of the colorful acts of IE-EMG Student Council 06-07, I felt a huge lump in my throat when I heard that we're playing Bowling. I've never played the game in my entire life. Serious. I just didn't like the idea of carrying a heavy ball like that. I can volley a ball (played competitively in my college years), swim, dive and ride a skateboard but never had the guts to try bowling.

My beau's constant prodding and sweetest talks did the trick for me. I just gave in.

Just for the kicks, I carried my first pink 7 pounder ball and hit 9 pins in my first go. I screamed my sanity out. Soon, I got pretty much comfortable in my awkward, unguarded moments with the group.

On our way home, with my hand clasped with my Hon's, I can't stop smiling and feeling really good about conquering that 7 pound pink ball. Unlike Romeo and Ram, I did not score the highest but I sure was the happiest girl.

To Olive, Jelai, Romeo, Ima, Carla, Ram and Mik - thank you for the wonderful experience. I really had a great time.
One more game soon, yes?

To Hon - thank you for nudging me non-stop.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Not You


Simply because...
You are too strong yet too fragile for me.

Although you smell good, your nails are long.
You see, long fingernails for boys turn me off.
Every girl in school wants you.
Limelight hugs you because of your boy-next-door looks,

Too bad, I never liked the limelight.

Some weeks ago, you surprised me with your antics.

As much as I'd like to give you an A for your efforts,

Sadly, I hate surprises.

You're famous, alright. But does not bite me at all.
I'm just not the type who'd take everything -
I leave some for others to "feast".
Age does not matter, I know -

But you're way too young for me.

I'm maybe too young to be old,

Too old to be young -
But I promise you,

I'm the oldest 24 turning 25 year old girl you'll ever know.
And just in case, I haven't told you yet -
I am already committed.
Yes, to the same man for the past 5 years

You are a good person,T.
But there's nothing more I could offer you -
Other than exchanges of hi's and hello's.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

What If


Today, I had a thought. What if I never met you?


Friday, July 25, 2008

Akala


Akala ko alam ko na ang lahat

Ng dapat kong malaman
Ngunit mali na naman
Pero okay lang yan

'Wag kang matakot na baka magkamali
Walang mapapala kung hindi ka magbakasakali
Dahil lumilipas ang oras
Baka ka maiwanan kung hindi mo susubukan
-Parokya ni Edgar


Steal Not


I just had to write this down.

While I am in no position to condemn anyone, I am almost starting to lose my faith on humanity. Don't get me wrong, I am wonderfully blessed with earthly angels but for some reason, unwanted people find their way and caused me trouble.

In a span of 3 weeks, I lost a lot of valuable items already in this "marketplace". No one heard me complain about it until I lost a pretty hefty amount of money to some thief. That money was not even intended for shopping, it was for school. Nevertheless, I cried my heart out soon I realized I lost that wallet.

I get it that this "thief" probably needs the money so bad - bills to pay, food, whatever but what I don't understand is why would someone even bother to steal my other things like:
- pencil case
- Time magazine (Nelson Mandela on the cover)
- Love in Time of Cholera book
- Lesson plan
- visual aids for my Reading class
- Flash disk
- coloring book
- Mug (how gross is that?!)

And to make things even worse, I don't have any hint who my legendary borrower is. If only I could strip off that effing mask. Now, as a lesson learned, I bring my huge bag everywhere - even if I need to go to the loo.

I am ready to forgive because I have been forgiven but I also hope that this person knows that stealing my things (or others') will not make him/her better than any of us.

Harumpf.


Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Dark Knight



One of the most anticipated movie this year is Christoper Nolan's second take on Batman - not only because of its given great cinematography, effects, Christian Bale and that this is "darker" from all the other previous Batmans we've seen but we're also curious at how the late Heath Ledger portrayed Joker.

His take on the Joker is really scary from his make up, laugh, manner of speaking and how you cannot decipher what's on his mind. Heaven knows how much Ledger studied this character that he couldn't shake it off long after he's done portraying it. I remember holding my beau's hand so tight during the scene where Joker was telling a man how he got his scars and mimicking his dad's "why so serious?"

This early, there are talks of a Best Actor Oscar for Ledger, even if some critics would say that its not going to happen. Well, you'll never know.

Aside from Ledger, the movie also boasts of such great actors - that inclue Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman. Christian Bale, so far, is the best Bruce Wayne/Batman for me. He was able to show his characters' human side - he can be lonely and vulnerable. Maggie Gyllenhaal has always given life to whatever character she tackles; thus, making her portrayal as Rachel Dawes notable. Aaron Eckhart (think No Reservation) is a pleasant surprise - playing Harvey Dent/Two Face. He sure pulled off his characters quite notably.

The Dark Knight is a celebration of an excellent work - showing that the people involved had a huge respect to the material and went as far as the "dark side".

Friday, July 18, 2008

Mama Mia

Having been raised by a wonderful couple crazy for music, I was a captured audience of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, The Beatles, ABBA, U2, Madonna, Elvis Presley, Eric Clapton, Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. I listened to a whole bunch of Broadway songs, grew crazy over The Sound of Music and danced Footloose a hundred times.

After seeing Mama Mia's trailer, I knew that the movie is going to be a quick trip down to the memory lane - as t features ABBA songs.

Much to my delight, the movie is a treat - from its location (captured the beautiful Greece), ABBA songs, witty lines, great actors and it definitely did not hurt that Pierce Brosnan, in his 50's can still charm any woman (or feeling woman) with his looks.

The movie is light and tackles a mystery involving Donna's (Meryl Streep) daughter, Sophie (Amanda Seyfried). She does not know who her father is. So after reading her mother's diary, she found out that she has 3 possible fathers. Without her mother knowing it, she invited these 3 men to her wedding.

What happened when the 3 men arrived in Greece is funny to a tee.

If you're looking for some entertainment without cringing your face, Mama Mia is a must see.