Happiest Season

It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much mistletoe-ing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year. 

Princess

I never knew how huge and great my love for your Dad was
until I saw and realized how much he's loving you.

Here in our midst

You came into our lives

at a time when we least expected it.

Yes, we prayed and prayed for

someone like you in our midst

and yet, we could not help but

be amazingly flabbergasted

when we first realized

You are here.

Inside me.

9 months later,

you shell out a cry

that roused me

from my deepest slumber.

Your cries, albeit loud –

are still music to my ears.

I knew it was you –

my dearest one.

You smile as you sleep –

showing off that cute facial dimples.

Oh, how I love seeing you smile!

They make things seem right –

that I must’ve done something great,

to deserve this moment.

This piece of heaven.

I stare and cradle you in my arms

and still, I am amazed by this instant.

That you are here.

In my arms.

In our midst. 


Written for my Yanna. 

An early Christmas Present

On November 24th 2012, we received one of the best Christmas presents ever!

With much anticipation, our baby girl is born. She came out at around 8:51 pm after more than 12 hours of labor.

2am: Woke up to eat some bread and drank  juice.

4am: Woke up again to this "pop" sound and with the gushing of some fluid off me.

415am: Phoned my parents to say that we're heading to the hospital. 

6am: Admitted at Makati Medical Center. To nourish me, an IV was attached into my left hand. To monitor the baby's heart rate and my contractions, they also wrapped something around my tummy (which will become very uncomfortable later on).

830am: Was given something for the labor pain. For the longest time, I have heard girl friends who are already Moms complain about how painful labor is. It is the worst type of dysmenorrhea, they said. Boy, they were spot on! The pain is akin to dysmenorrhea and then you magnify that 100 times. No kidding!

11am: One of the sweetest and unexpected things happen while I was in active labor - my husband wrote me a love letter (which I later lost!). The nurses and resident doctors inside the labor room were feeling "kilig" over this sweet gesture. Heck, who wouldn't?! *wink*

2pm: Another dose of epidural was given to me. The pain was ridiculously unmanageable! At around this time, I have been told by my OB, Dra. Patricia Alvia that I was still around 4cm down there. It has to reach 10 cm for the baby to come out naturally.

430pm: At around this time, I was feeling nauseous already - for lack of food and liquid intake (if you've been reading, my last food intake was around 2am). I asked the nurses and resident doctors who were monitoring my "progress" if I can take something and to my dismay, I was only given something to moisturize my lips.

530pm: My OB conducted an IE procedure again and declared that I was measuring 7cm already. She said that while my progress was rather slow, she could not discount the fact that it is still a progress.

7pm: My OB checked on me again and I was still measuring 7cm. This is when she talked to me about delivering the baby via C-section. I agreed. At this point, I was already very exhausted. They asked for my husband's consent. And soon, my OB and her team started to prep me for the operation. 

Exhausted, I let go of everything already. In silence, I uttered a prayer - for a safe delivery.

8:51pm: I heard the baby cry. She's finally out! Her cries were music to my ears. I looked around and I saw my husband inside the delivery room. He witnessed how my OB "pulled out" our baby girl and according to him he felt like he was in an episode of  House. Thankfully, he did not faint. :)

To experience bringing out another life into this world, I could not help but feel proud and humbled to be entrusted with such an opportunity. It is an honor and a privilege to tackle the greatest and most challenging job ever - to be a Mom. To be a parent.

Elianna Kanae L. Fantillo (Yanna)
She was 2 days old at the time this pic was taken. 

Steady my Heart

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart

Knock-knock

"You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it."

Matthew  21:22

Amazed

You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around but I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You, Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me

You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand for You hold me in Your hand

Lord I'm amazed by You, Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me

Lord I'm amazed by You, Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me

How wide, oh, how wide, how deep, oh how deep
How great, oh, how great is Your love for me
How wide, oh, how wide, how deep, oh how deep
How great, oh, how great is Your love for me

Lord I'm amazed by You, Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me, oh, You love me

Lord I'm amazed by You, Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You, You love me

5ive, baby!

We stand on a hill
Between the earth and sky;
Now all is still
Where the Loyola's colors fly;
Our course is run
And the setting sun,
Ends Ateneo's day.
Eyes are dry at the last goodbye
This is the Ateneo way.

Mary for you,
For your white and blue,
We pray you'll keep us, Mary,
Constantly true.
We pray you'll keep us, Mary,
Faithful to you.

Down from the hill,
Down to the world go I,
Rememb'ring still
How the bright blue eagles fly.
Through joys and tears,
Through the laughing years,
We sing our battle song.
Win or lose, it's the school we choose,
This is the place where we belong.

Thank You

The past couple of weeks have been pretty tough for my family due to the hospitalization of my Iya (GrandMom) and sister, Ella. Both were confined at the Makati Med for more than 3 days. During these trying times, we have experienced how God worked His wondrous ways through and through.

I write this entry with a VERY overwhelmed heart - what with the miracles that happened from day one until they were released from the hospital and I know that His miracles will not stop from there.

Please allow me to thank EVERYONE who prayed, shared their blessing and paid my Iya and Ella a visit during their stay at the hospital. It meant so much to me that we are super surrounded by earthly angels. God is gracious.

I do not know how else I could repay your kindness but I'll be praying for you, too. There is nothing in this world that prayers and faith cannot do.

Again, THANK YOU. 

My Iya

I have always considered myself blessed (despite of all the trials) mainly because my siblings and I grew up in an environment where we have so much to be thankful for. And even if we do not always have what we want, we would always get what we need. 

God has blessed us to grow up with wonderful grandparents. My Lolo (Grandfather, Mom's side) passed away last December 2009 and despite his grumpy ways of saying he cared, he left a huge mark and a void that cannot be filled. That only he can fill.

My most loved and favorite GrandMa ever is Iya (an endearment for Lola). I consider her a strong pillar and has a huge impact in my life by being there for me since the day I was born.

At the time (late 50's) when most women would be a mother and a homemaker, Iya tackled the road of being out in the field to work. Helping my Lolo bring a steady income in their growing family (they have 6 kids). She had a gorgeous collection of bags, accessories and really nice clothes - some of which were already handed down to me. This is why, I think, I have this knack for bags and accessories. :)

I have always considered her to be strong - physically, mentally and emotionally. This is why I easily broke down when I first realized that she is slowly losing her bearing to Alzheimer's. When suddenly, she has to depend on everyone at home to fulfill her needs. 

A couple of days ago, I have been told that she suffered a mild stroke and is now confined at Makati Med. I wanted to go see her and stay at the hospital when I don't have to go to work but it might be risky for my 29 weeks-old baby in my tummy. I would just usually get updates from my Mom and brother. 

Iya is fighting and responding well. The clots just went away, allowing her to move her hands and arms. Thankfully, she was not paralyzed. She just find it difficult to swallow and people around her could hardly understand what she is saying. 

Mom said that Iya is back to her usual self - grumpy at times and playful. She just have to undergo therapy to help her swallow. But her vital signs are normal. :) 

These are trying times yet again for our family but I put my trust in the Lord that He will provide, alleviate the pain and that His ways are ALWAYS for the good. 

 You bind the broken hearted
And save all my tears
By Your word, You set the captives free
There is nothing in this world
That You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You

 PS:

To anyone who is reading this piece, I humbly ask to please include my Iya in your prayers. 

Thank you. 

Hon

Thank you for your steadfast and very stubborn love.

Thank you for being my Hon, 

even when I do not deserve to be your Beb at times.

Thank you for taking good care of me, 

especially now that I am carrying our baby girl.  

Thank you for looking after me.

Thank you for allowing me to be myself 

and for letting me grow in my own sweet way.

Thank you for making our little family, your priority.

Thank you for incessantly praying for me, for us.

Thank you for teaching me to be generous. Our baby girl will pick that up.

Thank you for arguing with me and letting me know my mistakes.

Thank you for striving to become a better version of yourself.

Thank you for being a wonderful husband. 

This is why I know that you can be a great Dad to our baby girl. 

You are most loved. 

Oh, lovely!

We're having a baby girl!

Twenty-Nineth

Today, I marked my last year in my 20's. While I still could not believe that I am a year away from being a 30-year old woman, I am grateful for the whole 29 years of triumphs, trials and everything in between. 

2012 has been a good year for me and my husband - that words like "thankful" and "grateful" could not exactly capture how I feel.

Like winning an Oscar, I have a list of people and circumstances to be thankful for: 

• My personal Lord and Savior. 
• My husband, whom I lovingly call - Hon. 
• My immediate family and relatives.
• My in-laws. 
• Old friends from way back when. 
• Friends from work. 
• People who actually remembered me on my birthday. 
• Roof above our heads, food on our table. 
• Ability to travel and stand in awe of how gorgeous the Philippines is. 
• Promotion at work.
• To be entrusted in handling/supervising 11 (currently) creative people under my wings. 
• Unexpected teaching stints for my husband and for his name to be published/featured in Business World. 
• My husband's TVC stints and print ads. 
• Meeting new friends. 
• Laughing out loud moments. 
• And a baby girl due on November (or December at the latest). 

This list can go a long way but these are what comes to my mind at the moment.

So, here's to more years of trusting the Heavens that I may be strong and brave enough to tackle what life has to offer. :)

Happy Two-gether

"Side by side - year by year. "

Happy month

September, being my birth month, has always been my favorite. 

 

It signals a lot of happy things for me:

•  That Christmas-y feeling
•  My birthday
• My husband's birthday
• Our Wedding Anniversary 
• A trip to Dumaguete this year
• A scheduled ultrasound to know our gift's gender

I am extra happy! 

Precious

Swift Movements

We were roughly on our 16th week,
when I felt your swift movements -
inside my growing belly.

It was a feeling,
I could not comprehend at that moment.
Pleasant and a surprise.

All those swift "rumbling"
in my tummy -
made me feel so happy.

In no time,
we'll see each other face to face.
My loving arms await you.

There is nothing,
in this world - that I will not do,
for you.

You are a gift,
like no other.
And oh, you are so loved.

Kevin Cosme

Growing up, dinner was served early on Thursday nights because we all have to watch the comedy sitcom, "Home Along Da Riles" which was top billed by the country's King of Comedy - Dolphy. 

I remember rushing to finish all my school works just so I could enjoy watching the sitcom - which reigned for a good 12-13 years. This man whom I have never met personally but became a person well-loved by so many Filipinos because of how he somewhat alleviated each Juan Dela Cruz' bouts through his comic style. 

His character Kevin Cosme, personified a typical Filipino. That despite the challenges we all have to face - day in, day out - we are still a relatively happy lot. That there is always, always something to smile and laugh about. 

I am with the whole country in praying for the repose of your soul. You may not be a perfect person (who on earth is?) but you made this country a happier place because of the many times you made us laugh and smile. 

Maraming salamat sa maraming taon na kami po ay iyong pinatawa.

Thank YOU

Dear God,

I want to take a minute not to ask anything from You, but to simply say THANK YOU for ALL that I have.

Love,
KLF

Have courage

"Be strong and take heart, all you hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24

Thousand Years

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more 

I heard this song  long before  it was included in the Twilight Saga movie soundtrack. It is catchy and has depth. For a time, it has been in my playlist - with this song in a repeat mode.

After several months, I listened to this song again and suddenly, it has a different meaning for me. It is a song that somewhat captures my love for our yet to be born child. We waited for this gift to be given after almost 2 years of being married. 

To this day, I still get a little emotional every time this song is being played. For the first time in my almost 29 years of existence, I am loving someone whom I have not seen. That my husband and I love him/her so dearly already just by being here. 

I love him/her in this lifetime and beyond.

Breaking Dawn - Part 2

"She was born, not bitten. She grows every day!"

Dad's Day

Mom's Day

The hands that rock the cradle, rock the world.

A Gift

We have been waiting for almost 2 years already when an unexpected gift arrived. Just this morning, after a visit from our Ob-Gyne, it has been confirmed that we're having a baby!

No words can perfectly describe that very moment while I was inside the doctor's room to have my ultrasound - when the doctor exclaimed "jackpot", when we saw our gift's flickering heartbeat and when I saw my husband's facial expression as he lovingly look at our baby through the monitor.

There was nothing like it.

And I am really grateful to have been entrusted to experience this.

Our gift's first ever photo.

Disrespect

Wow. She who had the nerves to have her pic taken THAT way. SERIOUSLY? 

*Photo c/o Inquirer.net

The year that was