Sweet Honesty

Silence is an option now;
Keep mum; don't say a word.
When lying does not fit;
Unacceptable.

At night, such lies haunt me;
Shoo, I'd say and for awhile I am not afloat.
But when these senses get back from the dead;
Fears and doubts kick in.

To forgive is easy -
To forget is a different story.
How well can you give trust;
Doubting what and when is the truth ever coming out.

Such lies and secret lives -
Spare me.
I only want some sweet honesty;
Please give it to me.

Ananias' Kiss

Cover and wrap your fears;
Hide and then lie.
Too much pretension -
Too many denials, I am about to puke.

An overkill;
A big slap on my olive face.
But who cares?
You don't either.

Open your thick lips -
I am not looking.
One can never be sure;
Are you about to pretend some more?

Ha! Whack me.

Pardon Me

In the face of this mockery of forgiveness, there is a reason for resentment. According to sociologists Murphy and Hampton, the primary value defended by resentment is self-respect. A person who does not resent moral injuries done to him is almost necessarily a person lacking in self-respect. The land of the free has been forced to spread its legs for a mustached criminal with a pompadour, and then rewards that same man with a handshake and a kiss. So he walks away with a smirk, the same way so many of the men and women who violated the country have, so much so that rape is something we expect. So we rail at the pinpricks, condemn the Malu Fernandezes, petition the producers of “Desperate Housewives,” in the hope that we can get some of that lost dignity. And that’s well and good, it proves we’re still alive—but are doctors and OFWs the only people we’re willing to stand up for?

By all means, let us resent—resent the moral injury against the country, resent the arrogance that assumes we are so lacking in ego that we care nothing for our dignity. Resentment is both a protest against injustice and a defense of self-respect. We’re the battered wives who take every blow and forgive the drunken louts who smile at us the next morning. We’re the admiring crowd that steps aside for the tall woman with a thousand shoes. What Nietzsche says applies to the Filipino—here, forgiveness is a vice, not a virtue.

This pardon does not mean stability, or healing, or justice. It is Estrada’s middle finger shoved up the country’s collective consciousness, but it’s happened so often that it feels almost normal.
- Patricia Evangelista

Heaven's Gifts and Presents

Such gifts and presents -
All wrapped up - yes, with ribbons.
Different shapes and forms, all they come.
Blues and all those hues - humor me.

Doubts and cries filled my air -
For awhile, I could not breathe;
Until, Somebody heard me scream,
And He surprised me over the weekend.

Golden girl is in the middle of nowhere -
Asked too many questions;
Until that Blondie man with this Aussie accent -
Waved his hand and did a trick.

All too sudden, I can breathe again -
You can see it, I am smiling no end.

Heaven's gifts and presents -

Humor me again and again.

Such is Life

Okay, I know I am not always have the patience to do all the texting (see, I am not a text addict) but I am more than thankful to find out that after being not in my super best for the past few days (my temperature reached 40), there are still a good number of people who bombarded me with several getwellsoon kind of text messages.

I am currently out of danger and in quite a good shape - almost but not quite. I still sniff like crazy and am having a hard time talking now - my voice is at its worst! I sound like a boy!

The next few lines are going to be a bit cheesy but let me tell you that I can die anytime now knowing that there are more people within my string who actually cares. Sounds really good.

And I am smiling again - but not for long, my better half is also very under the weather and is in the hospital. I am beginning to wear that worry wart hat, what can I do - I worry about the people I love the most!

Oh good Lord, please don't let me hate those mosquitoes.

Waiting in Vain

But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line,
But the waiting feel is fine:
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string,
'Cause I know I have to do my thing.
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb;
- Bob Marley

Silly Weather

Under the silly weather;
Oh yes, that's her place now.
Fighting a good fight everyday;
Trying to wear her best all the time.

Under the silly weather;
She's been battling with.
She can resist this;
But for how long? She knows not.

Under the silly weather;
Is what they use as an excuse.
To do things they think is "best" for her;
Not thinking it stings her like hell.

Under the silly weather;
She finds her strength in it.
She becomes more than herself;
Different from what others perceived her to be.

That fine day will come;
When you'll finally see her through.
You'll realize that she's beyond what your eyes can see;
She's more than that girl under the silly weather.

Freedom Writers

One boring Saturday morning, I've decided to watch Freedom Writers.

I've seen, read and heard lots of stories like these before - you know, teachers making a difference in his/her students' lives and for the nth time, this movie has moved me at point or another. I saw myself crying like crazy in some of the scenes. I can still remember how the nurse looked at me when he saw me sniffing like mad.

Anyway, Freedom Writers is a film about a first time English teacher who was tasked to handle freshmen high schoolers that later on we found out has their own stories to tell. These "kids" belong to some gang ranging from Latino, Black, Chinese Cambodian and White - catch is, they all hate each other and will protect only their own. At one point or another, you'd see how these "kids" disrespect those who belong to a gang different from his/her. It was horrible.

Teacher Erin may have kept her cool for sometime, she eventually lost it when one of her students draws a "funny" face of one of her black students. She bluntly put her students' gang in shame when she told them about the Holocaust. And since then, her passion to help these "kids" change never ceased and they responded well - moved by her, well - passion.

While Teacher Erin or Miss G. to her students is busy helping out these kids, her marriage is put to test and eventually, it crumbles and her husband left. All these happen and I have realized that sometimes, it takes everything to make something.

Amidst all the drama, this is a story of how an ordinary person touched each of her students' lives and gave them a spark of hope that all is not lost.

Treasured

Just this afternoon, a school friend texted me this one liner and for some reason, it hits me. I cannot seem to get this off my head even after I have deleted this message off my Inbox.

Oh well.

The message went like this:

One half the trouble of this life can be traced to saying yes to quickly, and not saying no soon enough.
- Josh Billings

I replied: Whatta? Okay, I am so dead. Happy now?

His reply: Lessons to be learned, dear. ;)

I replied: Point taken. You didn't just stop from nodding, thank you.

I am telling you, this exchange was almost endless. I cannot publish those messages, though. Bottom line is, somebody out there cares far more beyond my smiles and silly laughter.

This boy err man is a treasured friend.

Who and Why

Who has the most to gain from bombing a mall owned by the Ayalas in Jejomar Binay’s favorite city? Or, a variation on the theme, why did the bombing happen at the very time it did?
- Conrado De Quiros

Love and Madness

This certain insanity;
All wrapped in such a mess.
Embracing the unknown and promised warmth;
Only brings the inexplicable fury.

How well should this soul move;
When all you see is "ordinary"?
Nothing is good enough;
No amount of effort can ever please you.

Such is love and madness;
Shoo!

Windows

For more than a year now, I have always been longing for weekends - I go to school on Saturdays and spend time with my beau the whole day on Sundays. But yesterday was different, he was sick and burning in fever. While I may have all the right to brag about what happened to me the night before and that Sunday morning, I was quite hoping we can talk about this obsevation I have been keeping for awhile now - but things happen so differently.

I ended up in memorial park and payed Bin a visit. I brought him flowers that he loved so much when he was still alive. I sat down on the grass and cried almost endlessly, thinking and praying for more courage to endure all the what-have-me's. I saw myself drift away - I have been and nobody noticed it.

I stayed in that place for about an hour - recharged. I told myself that I will never let anyone hurt me like this again because the more I let them in, the more I hurt myself. The more I expect, the more I'm bound to be doomed. That's a can not do for me now.

Endless questions suddenly pouring in and I can only speculate. No definite answers just yet.

Some school friends called me while I was to about to leave the place and asked me if I am going elsewhere. We all ended up talking, eating and laughing some more in Serendra. 'Tis true - when God closes a door, He opens windows for you.

A big thanks and a big warm hug to you.

I am not going anywhere, promise.

Lies and Revenge

Over the past few weeks, we were all bombarded with non-stop scandals that involve no less than the President herself. While these sad news did not really lift a single strand of hair out me, I still cried out of frustration when I read and heard about the "money in bags" that those elected governors/congressmen received in last week's breakfast meeting at Malacanang.

They said those were gifts - early Christmas gifts. But from whom? No one can tell. Too many lies and denies. My wild guess, hard-earned money of those who faithfully pay their taxes. A lot of people in this land cannot afford to eat a decent meal everyday, a lot of good and talented Filipinos already left the country and counting, there are soldiers who are being sent away to fight the terrors in Mindanao without their combat shoes on - and Malacanang is giving out money to those public officials amounting from Php 200,000 to Php 500,000 just like that?! The effing nerve!

Are they thinking that we're some nitwits who cannot decipher this and pretend that its nothing? Come on. We can do better than that.

My Lolo said that this regime is becoming like that of Marcos'. While I wasn't in my right mindset yet when Marcos reigned (I was born in 1983) and I am not good in History but with what's happening lately, things are becoming really scary.

I vented out such thoughts to my beau last night and we saw things differently. He reminded me about the stories in the book of Romans, where Christians were instructed to "submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." While we all submit to these authorities, I believe its not right to just sit and do absolutely nothing.

Rebellion may not be the answer but I hope in our own little way, we do something good for this country. That is our revenge.


"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
- Edmund Burke

Save the Day

I reach and stretch too far to measure
And I break myself to keep together all the time
It's a struggle to be kind
In a world that seems so blind.
- Alanis Davis

Simple Pleasures

Growing up in an environment where rice is almost present in every meal, my love affair with it seems unbreakable until I found a new love in eating pasta. Don't get me wrong, I've been eating pasta since time immemorial - I just didn't love it back then.

My fondness with pasta started at Alda's Pizza Kitchen & Restaurant in early 2004. That old restaurant along Adriatico Street in Malate was considered a gem. I remember dining there at least once a week with my beau and the servers there knew us. They'd lovingly serve us with such a warm smile - being the regulars that we were. I loved their angel hair with olive oil and garlic - my whole system, I think, can never go weary eating this. Sad to say, this restaurant is already closed and I remember how bad I felt when we saw that big sign taped on the door and it reads - CLOSED.

After that, I went back to my first love - rice. I tried several pasta after Alda's and nothing satisfied me the way my regular angel hair did until we discovered Spaghetti Factory in Glorietta 2 and we never stopped eating there at least once a week since then. Yes, you can tell that we are regulars. We even have our very own "spot" there - its not like us-us, the servers just knew that that spot is where we always seat. I love their Red Seafood pasta - even if I am allergic to shrimp. Haha. Its just so tasty and gives me that warm feeling - a burp is suffice. My beau loves the Sundried pasta and the regular pasta served with olive oil, garlic and chili.

What I also love about Spaghetti Factory are their servers. One of the best customer service experience I ever had and will.

And just recently, I've discovered Tsoko.nut's Spaghetti tuna carbonara. So yummy! I mean, I have been taking that for brunch every working day - even if I am alone. Haha. I have yet to taste the other pasta they're serving but for now, I am happy with my usual orders.

Ahh.

Simple pleasures - here and there.

Sudden Breeze

Its here -
I can feel it; I can see it in my rear.

Too strong to shoo it away;
It comes closer day by day.

It stares at me - throws me its warmth look;
Its mere presence poke me even in my nook.

My soul is not even ready for this - yet;
I am not buying this sudden turn; I fret!

People started to talk about this;
Some get cheery and think that this is bliss.

I look at one corner;
Thinking, if only I can handle this much better.

Yes, its getting so near;
Kids love it so dear.

You can see it in their faces;
They're excited and hop to different places.

Oh dear!
I am telling you, Christmas is here.

The 11th Hour

I may neither love the color green nor have plans of turning to be a fan but after watching the 11th Hour, I want to make a mark in saving this blue planet like all those green movement. It did not surprise me a bit though that our planet is almost "destroyed" and that we need to really do something about it - because no one else will.

11th Hour is a documentary that talks about Earth's illnesses and the possible cure.

Nature can stand and survive on its own, unlike us. We really need to make a stand on this and contribute to make this planet alive. I am encouraging those who are reading this to please watch The 11th Hour, be informed about how we're destroying our very own planet Earth and from there, we do something about it.

So, we find ourselves on the brink. It's clear humans have had a devastating impact on our planet's ecological web of life. Because we've waited, because we've turned our backs on nature's warning signs, and because our political and corporate leaders have consistently ignored the overwhelming scientific evidence, the challenges we face are that much more difficult. We are in the environmental age whether we like it or not. So, what does the future look like? We know the United States, the greatest consumer and source of waste, needs to make a transition to a greener future, but will our pivotal generation create a sustainable world in time? What will guide this massive change? And does nature hold the answers we need to help restore our planet's resources, protect our atmosphere, and therefore help all life survive?
—Leonardo DiCaprio

For some reason, I had a terrible headache yesterday that I went home straight after work. I slept for a while and went to see Luis, my 8 years old friend who is also busy studying for their periodical exams. He is 8 but he is 5 years older when you talk to him. I am telling you, he is the smartest 8 years old I know. You can talk to him about Burma, why we are more blessed, why he wanted to finish school early and this list can go on until tomorrow. Serious.

When I got to their place, he hugged me. I was moved because that's the first time he did that and normally boys his would stop being so affectionate and showing emotions. He gladly showed me his several 90 grades in his assignments and quizzes. But its these outstanding grades that make me be proud of him, he has the kindest of hearts. You see, Luis grew up with almost nothing yet when he sees a beggar, he would ALWAYS give whatever he has left on his lunchbox. Hindi siya madamot with the things he possess.

I just love him to the max!

And the biggest surprise for the day was when he gave me a note he made daw during recess. This is really personal but I thought to share this and may we all be reminded that these kids will lead our country soon. I hope that the time will come and these kids will say that those who come before them are faithful and gave them a fighting chance.

Luis

I had a terrible headache yesterday that I went home straight after work. I slept for a while and went to see Luis, my 8 years old friend who is also busy studying for their periodical exams. He is 8 but he is 5 years older when you talk to him. I am telling you, he is the smartest 8 years old I know. You can talk to him about Burma, why we are more blessed, why he wanted to finish school early and this list can go on until tomorrow. Serious.

When I got to their place, he hugged me. I was moved because that's the first time he did that and normally boys his age would usually stop being so affectionate and showing emotions. He gladly showed me his several 90 grades in his assignments and quizzes. But its not those outstanding grades that make me be proud of him, he has the kindest of hearts. You see, Luis grew up with almost nothing yet when he sees a beggar, he would ALWAYS give whatever he has left on his lunchbox. Hindi siya madamot with the things he possess.

I just love him to the max!

And the biggest surprise for the day was when he gave me a note he made daw during recess. This is really personal but I thought to share this and may we all be reminded that these kids will lead our country soon. I hope that the time will come and these kids will say that those who come before them were faithful and gave them a good fighting chance.

For some reason, I had a terrible headache yesterday that I went home straight after work. I slept for a while and went to see Luis, my 8 years old friend who is also busy studying for their periodical exams. He is 8 but he is 5 years older when you talk to him. I am telling you, he is the smartest 8 years old I know. You can talk to him about Burma, why we are more blessed, why he wanted to finish school early and this list can go on until tomorrow. Serious.

When I got to their place, he hugged me. I was moved because that's the first time he did that and normally boys his would stop being so affectionate and showing emotions. He gladly showed me his several 90 grades in his assignments and quizzes. But its these outstanding grades that make me be proud of him, he has the kindest of hearts. You see, Luis grew up with almost nothing yet when he sees a beggar, he would ALWAYS give whatever he has left on his lunchbox. Hindi siya madamot with the things he possess.

I just love him to the max!

And the biggest surprise for the day was when he gave me a note he made daw during recess. This is really personal but I thought to share this and may we all be reminded that these kids will lead our country soon. I hope that the time will come and these kids will say that those who come before them are faithful and gave them a fighting chance.

Email from Anonymous

Weird.

I got a weird email this morning. I was super speechless and yes, clueless because I have no idea who sent me this - the email address does not a ring a single bell. Oh well.

The email entails...

the chance of you will ever see these words is quite remote, but i must try. its much too late for this confession to purge my conscience of guilt. i neither expect it nor want it to. what i do pray for, my little friend of long ago, is that you might somehow learn of and be lifted by the continuing force of your sacrifice. what you suffered at my hands that day and the loving courage you showed, God has twisted, turned and molded into a blessing. This knowledge might ease the memory of that terrible day for you. I've been no saint, nor have i done all the things i could and should have done with my life. but what i want you to know is that i have never again knowingly betrayed you, Kat. Nor, I shall pray i ever.

Quite an email, yes? But I sure will not dwell on this. This person must've caused me a great deal in the past, that's for sure - I mean, why would s/he say things like that if s/he didn't?

Well - to the sender, whoever you are, you have my forgiveness. You owe me nothing - maybe except for a trip to French Polynesia. Haha. I am telling you, you're lucky I might have forgotten your damned deed otherwise, you're off my list like for forever. Kidding.

Four

Four names you go by:
1. Katrina
2. Kakat
3. (Ate) Kat
4. Beb

Four screen names you have had:
1. Postergirl (age old handle - back in highschool and college days)
2. KATwoman
3. akaDelilah
4. iamkatrina

Four physical things you like about yourself:
1. Eyes
2. My front and behind. (Haha!)
3. Nose
4. Cheek bones

Four things that scare you:
1. Snakes (I can die!)
2. Not being with my loved ones.
3. Getting lost
4. Not doing anything to give back to society. (Corny, I know).

Four of your everyday essentials:
1. Mobile
2. My big bag - everything is here!
3. Notebook
4. Internet

Four of your favorite musical artists:
Like now?
1. Jason Mraz
2. Snow Patrol
3. Regina Spektor
4. U2

Four of your favorite songs:
1. "Signal Fire" by Snow Patrol
2. "Us" by Regina Spektor
3. "All I Want is You" by U2
4. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz

Four things you want in a relationship:
Aside from l-o-v-e?
1. Honesty
2. Trust
3. Affection
4. Time

Four physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Eyes
2. Fingernails (they have to be short and clean)
3. Shoes
4. Lips/Teeth

Four of your favorite hobbies:
1. Spending time with my beau.
2. Writing
3. Movies
4. Being alone when in topak mode.

Four things you want to do really badly now:
1. Go home and sleep.
2. Eat a very good meal.
3. I want this week to be over.
4. Sana summer na again.

Four places you want to go on vacation:
1. New York
2. Maldives
3. Europe
4. French Polynesia

Four kid's names you like:
1. Elijah
2. Elianna
3. Katriel
4. Isobel

Four things you want to do before you die:
1. Get married and have kids.
2. Teach other people's kids.
3. Travel.
4. Bake non stop.

Four ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. My hair and fingernails are always short.
2. I collect Matcbox cars and don't play them.
3. I rode a skating board several times in my younger days.
4. Most of my super closest friends are boys, err men.

Four ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I love being kikay and being artsy.
2. I like pink.
3. I like to "talk shop".
4. I cry so easily. Super!

Sorry for joining the answer-this-survey bandwagon, a kulit classmate fervently asked me to do this. Ha! In short, nagpa-uto ako. Haha.

So there.

"OK, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Because I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines.” - Susan Mayer, Desperate Housewives

This quotation has raised so many Filipino brows these past few days and I am telling you, this has been the talk of the town prior to Manny Pacquiao's sweet triumph.

Not that I never took pride in being brown and Filipina at that, but there is a slice of truth on this. If we really go dig deep enough, its not them who has problem with us - its us.

We really cannot blame them for looking down on us - let's not forget about the cheating in the 2006 Nursing board exam, the numerous TNT's, fake VISAs and yes, even those nasty illegal recruiters. This list can go on, the bottom line is - before we even try to react violently to what other nations think and see of us and demand them to apologize, let's make sure that there isn't any basis.

Sometimes the problem is we like to complain all the time (I am guilty of this, too - complaining) without even doing anything. What exactly are we contributing for this country to make this a better place for it's native?

A lot of good men and women already left the country - all for greener pasture. True enough, there isn't enough job opportunity for every Juan Dela Cruz and we have a leader who encourages the native to leave the country because our economy is banking on the OFWs remittances.

I have nothing against OFWs, in fact - in my eyes, they are in my list of heroes. Its just that it pains me to see these talented Filipinos leave and serve other nations. Masakit lang isipin kung minsan na ang nakikinabang sa galing and talento ng maraming Filipino ay hindi ang Pilipinas.

There are gazillions of reasons why sometimes, I would want to leave but I also have reasons why I am choosing not to. I look at the future and hopes that one day, no single Filipino will have to leave this country for a greener pasture. Pangarap ko yan talaga. Patuloy kong dinaladalangin yan. The current situation of this country is blur but I choose to hope and believe that there is a light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.

Ninoy Aquino once said that the Filipino is worth dying for but I'd say that the Philippines and its native are worth living for.

Desperate

"OK, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Because I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines.” - Susan Mayer, Desperate Housewives

This quotation has raised so many Filipino brows these past few days and I am telling you, this has been the talk of the town prior to Manny Pacquiao's sweet triumph.

Not that I never took pride in being brown and Filipina at that, but there is a slice of truth on this. If we really go dig deep enough, it’s not them - its us.

We really cannot blame them for looking down on us - let's not forget about the cheating in the 2006 Nursing board exam, the numerous TNT's, fake Visas and yes, even those nasty illegal recruiters. This list can go on, the bottom line is - before we even try to react violently to what other nations think and see of us and demand them to apologize, let's make sure that there isn't any basis.

Sometimes the problem is we like to complain all the time (I am guilty of this, too - complaining) without even doing anything. What exactly are we contributing for this country to make this a better place for it's native?

A lot of good men and women already left the country - mostly for greener pasture. True enough, there isn't enough job opportunity for every Juan Dela Cruz and we have a leader who encourages the native to leave the country because our economy is banking on the OFWs' remittances.

I have nothing against OFWs, in fact - in my eyes, they are in my list of heroes. Its just that it pains me to see these talented Filipinos leave and serve other nations. Masakit lang isipin kung minsan na ang nakikinabang sa galing and talento ng maraming Filipino ay hindi ang Pilipinas.

There are gazillions of reasons why sometimes, I would want to leave but I also have reasons why I am choosing not to. I look at the future and hopes that one day, no single Filipino will have to leave this country for a greener pasture. Pangarap ko yan talaga. Patuloy kong dinaladalangin yan. The current situation of this country is blurring but I choose to hope and believe that there is a light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.

Ninoy Aquino once said that the Filipino is worth dying for but I'd say that the Philippines and its native are worth living for.


Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
-Galadriel, LOTR

"OK, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Because I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines.” - Susan Mayer, Desperate Housewives

This quotation has raised so many Filipino brows these past few days and I am telling you, this has been the talk of the town prior to Manny Pacquiao's sweet triumph.

Not that I never took pride in being brown and Filipina at that, but there is a slice of truth on this. If we really go dig deep enough, its not them who has problem with us - its us.

We really cannot blame them for looking down on us - let's not forget about the cheating in the 2006 Nursing board exam, the numerous TNT's, fake VISAs and yes, even those nasty illegal recruiters. This list can go on, the bottom line is - before we even try to react violently to what other nations think and see of us and demand them to apologize, let's make sure that there isn't any basis.

Sometimes the problem is we like to complain all the time (I am guilty of this, too - complaining) without even doing anything. What exactly are we contributing for this country to make this a better place for it's native?

A lot of good men and women already left the country - all for greener pasture. True enough, there isn't enough job opportunity for every Juan Dela Cruz and we have a leader who encourages the native to leave the country because our economy is banking on the OFWs remittances.

I have nothing against OFWs, in fact - in my eyes, they are in my list of heroes. Its just that it pains me to see these talented Filipinos leave and serve other nations. Masakit lang isipin kung minsan na ang nakikinabang sa galing and talento ng maraming Filipino ay hindi ang Pilipinas.

There are gazillions of reasons why sometimes, I would want to leave but I also have reasons why I am choosing not to. I look at the future and hopes that one day, no single Filipino will have to leave this country for a greener pasture. Pangarap ko yan talaga. Patuloy kong dinaladalangin yan. The current situation of this country is blur but I choose to hope and believe that there is a light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.

Ninoy Aquino once said that the Filipino is worth dying for but I'd say that the Philippines and its native are worth living for.

Its Out

Yes, the sun is finally out and shining so bright!

My reaction may seem like an exaggeration but heaven knows how delighted I am to see the sun shine again after days of gloomy. You see, I love the sun forever but too much of it can irritate me though. Basta, I love it. There's just something about the cold weather that weakens my very soul.

Ha! Now, I can tackle every street with my ballet flats or flip-flops on without worrying about those dirty droplets touching my sole.

Abba

Dear Father,

Please make me childlike, deliver me from the urge to compete with another for place or prestige or position. I would be simple and artless as a little child. Deliver me from pose and pretense. Forgive me for thinking of myself.

Please help me to forget myself and find my true peace in beholding You. That You may answer this prayer, I humble myself before you. Lay upon me your easy yoke of self forgetfulness that through it, I may find rest.

Love,
K.

Pet Peeves

I know I am so far from perfect but some things just annoy me so bad.

Ha! I just hate it when:

1. I see dirty fingernails.

2. In my presence (or at least some audience), one started poking his/her nose.

3. In the presence of an audience, one starts to pull excess hair off his/her nose.

4. You're driving and some car will suddenly crosses you.

5. In a public vehicle, some people would just talk at each other like they're the sole passengers.

6. In a moviehouse, some people would talk so loud about the movie while watching it.

7. Somebody's phone rings during the best part of the movie.

8. You're in a washroom and you see that the seat is up, strands of hair on the toilet and the previous user didn't bother to flush.

9. People started to write like the way they text.

10. I wait and had no choice but to stand for so many effing minutes.

11. I am left alone in the crowd I am not familiar with or worse, don't even like.

So there, just some pet peeves.

Lux in Domino

For the first time in 24 years, I shed a bucket of tears because of basketball after we lost in last Sunday's game. I was in awe when after minutes of crying, I realized how "painful" it was for me that we lost. It was indeed a gloomy day for the Ateneo community.

Come Monday, I received several email messages from classmates and friends from the Ateneo and boy, after watching those video clips, heaven knows how my nose turned red - sniffing and trying to hold back such tears. I had no idea how this event can be this very painful where sometime in the past, I just did not care so much. Ha!

As our Hymn says -

Down from the hill, down to the world go I;
Rememb'ring still,
How the bright Blue Eagles fly.
Through joy and tears,
Through the laughing years,
We sing our battle song:
Win or lose,
It's the school we choose;
This is the place where we belong!

This is, indeed, where I belong.

I never really understood what being in the Ateneo community really meant until this season - grabe, the intensity was super overwhelming. One time, I was in Glorietta checking out the apparels in Adidas (and yes, I was looking at the Ateneo shirts and jackets), when a guy suddenly asked me if I am watching the game in Araneta, if I have extra tickets pa and asking me how are things in school. Blah, blah. It was a good 3-minute talk with an alumnus. Somewhere in that store was a connection - not necessarily romantic, though but it was a good connection.

I saw the pictures posted in Fabilioh and again, something hit me so hard as I look at Ford's and Zion's pictures taken in Gesu. Sheesh. This is their last playing season for the Ateneo. They will be sorely missed. You know, there's something about defeat now that really pains me but I took comfort in what some colleagues said, defeat is not to be ashamed of - for we fought fairly and never cheated.

We may have lost last Sunday but we still take pride in being an Atenean. Ang sarap maging Atenista!

One Big Fight!

Longing

Luxury nowadays is defined by sleep and rest;
Yet I am choosing to be near you -
Still you shoo me away;
Ironically, you're near yet so damn far;
To talk is almost taboo;
So, I am holding back.

Soon, I'll be gone forever.