Am I happy?

"I am not happy!"

These were my former office mates’ famous words. For whatever reason why she's not happy, I still couldn’t quite decipher.

Her complaints lingered to me still, like a bad dream that I couldn’t shake off myself. And such complaints still sound alarming to me, gave me enough reason to check myself and current state. At 27, I have had my own share of troubles not quite pretty "normal" for people my age (or at least those that I know). Closest friends can testify that I have been such a drama queen, I can parade all my rants  and it'll take a while - bottom line is, I have become a better version me because of all the troubles I went through. Whether I am bound to be someone great or not, I have chosen not to use my troubles as an excuse not to strive to be better.

Over the years, I have learned to accept the fact that things will never work the way I want them to. I mean, no matter how hard I plan for things to be right, at some point they turn left.

I am not perfect and I no longer expect others to move the world for me -such a bitter pill to swallow  but somehow, my old and can be harsh but well meaning few friends made me realize that I cannot be an idealist with certain illusions in my head. I have toned down.

I still aim for the stars, if that fails - I can still reach for the clouds.

I may not have everything (who has everything anyway?), but I am happy with where I am now - being married to a great and wonderful man, a corporate life that keeps me both sane and insane at the same time, set of really good friends and a good foundation of love that my family can give. 

Life is not just about being happy, I believe it is about being great and making sacrifices not for us but for the next.

Am I happy? I asked myself over and over as I picture the faces of all my earthly angels whom I endeared the most. Imagine the silly grin on my face when I heard myself almost murmuring, "yes, I am."