If I Were A Boy

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear, I'd be a better man.
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed.
- Beyonce Knowles

Rage

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

Today

To this day,
I still haven't given up.
I still ask the same questions.
Of where, why and how.

To this day,
I still have a little spark of hope.
That no matter what,
Such tragedies will soon end.

To this day,
I still try to fight a good fight.
That even in this trying times,
I haven't lost my faith on humanity.

To this day,
I wear my heart on my sleeves.
That while I tackle this monster,
I go about my usual business.

To this day,
I wake up and still be thankful.
For my work, family and friends.
For the triumphs - big and small.

To this day,
Even if I am getting impatient,
I still play by the rules.
Placing my bets on what is fair and right.

To this day,
While I am almost fed up,
Blessings are just pouring out.
Overwhelmed but not bruised.

To this day,
I know who and what I am.
And simply being my usual self,
I am driving some bored ones nuts.

To this day,
While I am not singing "Walking on Sunshine",
I am walking under the sun.
And singing "No day but today".

Gabfest

Did it ever occur to you when after the first meeting and exchanges of random thoughts, you feel good vibes about the other person?

People closest to me should know by now that I am not a very sociable person. In normal circumstances, I don't mingle with people I don't know - most especially when I don't even like the crowd. Now this pretty weird that just happened to me several weeks back, is something I cherish up to this day.

I met this person in school, when everyone was cheery and sporting hues of blue. It was at the Bonfire. After endless nudging from friends to drop by the school after work, I watched myself gave in to their wanting. Wearing my corporate outfit and high heeled shoes to boot, I braved the traffic and drizzle just so I could make it to the 6pm Thanksgiving Mass and later on, experience my first ever university Bonfire.

Obviously, I did not make it at 6pm but I was early for the program. Good friends Jerome and Lucas met me up at our "tambayan" and I was really surprised to see a lot of people in school. I know, it was a huge celebration but I did not expect for the crowd to grew that big. Really, it was overwhelming!

On our way to finding a good spot for the program-cum-concert, we bumped into some of Jerome's old friends. The chit-chat he promised us ballooned into an almost endless conversation. Soon, Lucas and I found ourselves amongst these "geeks", banging our heads and laughing our hearts out.

Now this person, for some reason, zeroed out on me. Asking me questions that made me blush. Serious. We share a lot of things in common - love for kids, coloring books, answering Sudoku, writing, swimming and Matchbox. At one time, his chubby fingers even slided into my right hand. I just smiled and looked away. Lynne must gave noticed this that she texted me asking, "Wt d hel is goin on bt u nd dt boy?" I just shrugged my shoulders and winked at her. Later on I just texted her back, "Great night!"

I wanted to stay until wee hours but I had to leave. And when I did, I was stunned for not even getting his name. Later on I found out that his name is Gabriel and that he has been asking Jerome about me.

And he's just 5 years old.

Great Times

Among other things I sincerely love about my man is that he shares the same passion with my Mom - continuous learning, a seemingly endless love for Economics and great love for kids.

I grew up in a household where I heard more than a dozen times names like Peter Drucker and yes, Adam Smith that as early as 3rd grade, I already know what I am NOT to take up in college.

Now, before one started to think that I hate my Mom, I don't. In fact, between my parents, she best personifies what it means to love beyond imperfections without sacrificing right for wrong and that most of the values I embrace are those taught by her through example and otherwise. It just so happened that early on, I already wanted to be my own self. You know, find my niche and be away from my parents' "big" shadows.

Moving on...

Last night, despite certain apprehensions, I've decided to attend a talk where my man and another guy from his Monday group were invited to speak about the most recent Economics tragedy that hit the world after The Great Depression in the late 1920's. Hon as the first speaker, discussed the "basics" or the things we should know about the recent Economics crisis. Ron, on the hand, talked about what we should do when things like these happen. And let me tell you, no one experienced nosebleed and nobody zoned out.

Although I sat in my man's previous classes in school, last night was the first time I saw him conduct about such a topic (or anything for that matter). And really, it was a delight to be his student (and Ron's too!). It is already given that his greatest gift is his uncanny ability to communicate, to teach and to dispense knowledge no matter who his students are - young, old, professionals and even expatriates. As his partner, I am really proud of this man whom I will meet in some big stage soon.

After the talk, Hon and I decided to have dinner in one of our favorite places in the world, Greenbelt. We talked, laughed, walked with his left hand clasped with my right and we were acting silly. Crazy and quite extraordinaire couple, we are.

So, despite having funny butterflies in my stomach, I had a great night. It was a pleasure to be just learning, being a student again and I was seated amongst Makati professionals, who are all trying to make a difference in the workplace. And after a long day's work, it was very comforting to be just seating beside my man, sharing California Maki and Wasabe.

Great times.

Swimfan

This piece is neither about a Jesse Bradford flick of years back nor about Michael Phelps, rather this is about an obsessed pychopath stalker who made it it's mission to make my life miserable or so she thought.

My claim to fame was when I gave my resounding yes to this man I have been with for the past 5 years. Although, I was pretty much aware that he appears on TV commercials, I was not too keen about it. Really, I did not make a big fuss out of it. I made him wait for almost a year before I have finally decided to hop into this relationship and little did I know that there are envious eyes watching us.

Come February 2004, my seemingly foes just sprung from hell and they made it a habit to hound me non-stop. Over the years, I have learned to deal with them, ignore them and go about my usual business but not until a couple of days ago when I received a phone call from a woman, shouting at the top of her effing lungs and threatening my life. I'd be lying if I say I was not terrified. I mean, this psychopath just threatened me!

I have never cried so much in my lifetime before this psychopath's call. Makes me wonder - my last name is neither common nor famous, my savings and earnings combined will still not make me to the Forbes' List and the last time I checked, I never took someone or something from her. This psychopath is my man's greatest effing fan and she's running after me!

Sheesh!

After gathering myself together again, I pulled a lot of strings just so I could nail down this psychopath and I am still working on it. I had to do this alone - the last time I poured out, I was never really assured of anything and only received sarcasm. But I am no longer harboring so much ill feelings about receiving sarcasm of the late. In fact, this experience made me realize a lot about myself - that despite this woman and her accomplices doing and telling me nasty things, I have proven that I really make their life miserable just by being my usual self; that no matter what happens, I am not always alone. I have with me Someone who sees everything and right now, as always, He is my greatest weapon.

Yesterday, I made a huge and inconvenient decision - reaching a point where I am convinced that I have to lay low, get away from the envious crowd and forget about technology - only for awhile. I maybe a technology junkie but I am not a big fan, not anymore. Earlier, I was seriously battling with "Why do I ALWAYS have to adjust for these creeps?!" and lost a lot of water off my system due to excessive crying - which is very ridiculous to me now.

I am good at what I do, I have a wonderful family to back me up, few and great friends who are just as crazy and this man who chooses and plans an ever after life with me. This psychopath may have caused me to panic a little but my spirit is not bruised.

Maybe I should star in the next Eagle Eye movie, yes?

Crazy about Milk

Much has been said and written about this milk scare and my words may not really make a huge impact anymore but I am one of those people tremendously affected by it.

No, I am neither Chinese nor a super fan of their products but I am a milk drinker. My good Mom trained me to start drinking my milk using a glass instead of a bottle months before she sent me off to school for the first time, when I was about 4 and since then, drinking milk twice a day (morning and night) has been a habit so hard to break.

When news spread across the globe about having found melamine substance on milk products, I freaked out. Without further checking facts just yet, my imagination went wild and I find it very difficult to cross out drinking milk on my everyday's to do list. The feeling was almost akin to losing someone really close. I know, that is an exaggeration but trust me, drinking milk is like breathing to me. Told you, a habit that is so hard to break.

Now the world is staring at China again, only this time we're no longer amazed. Read the newspaper everyday - aside from articles about the upcoming US elections and Philippines politicking crap, you'd find an article or two about this milk scare. And for the love of milk, my limited mind could not really comprehend why on good Earth will someone include such a substance on milk products knowing that its not supposed to be there in the first effing place? Have we become too greedy about profit now that we've lost our sense of humanity? That we've stopped caring at all?

What makes this even more maddening for me is that most of the reported casualties are kids - 53,000 children got sick and 4 died. Haay. Sad and really maddening at the same time.

Please don't get me wrong, I am neither trying to be self-righteous here nor putting them down. What I am just pointing out is, aside from this being a selfish ranting of a heavy milk drinker - while we're all busy making a living, I hope that we're not trying to advance ourselves at the expense of other people.

By the way, I was only relieved from hysteria when Pura Fresh Milk, Anchor and Bear Brand made to the safe list.