Realizations

I have realized that
You cannot compete with work - ever.
You cannot demand so much.
You cannot ask to be loved.

I have realized that
You cannot have everything no matter what.
You cannot please everybody.
You cannot "rewind" your life.

I have realized that
You can only do so much.
You have limitations.
You can regret and move on.

I have realized that
You get hurt.
You cry and whine.
You get stronger by the day.

I have realized that
You can be a handful.
You can be a blessing.
You can rebel.

I have realized that
You can be a fiend.
You can hate just as much.
You've had enough realization.

300 Rocks

1. The idea of 300 soldiers joined together to fight for life, home and family is moving - unconsciously or not, most of us do the same thing every single day.

2. The story tells about a group of people who are so passionate about something that they are so willing to give up their lives fighting for it. To their King - freedom, righteousness and justice were far more important.

3. Classic tale of sacrifice and valor - of heroism, that is phenomenal.

4. The cinematic craft is more than astounding. Job well done, I say.

5. The slaughter is crudely emotional and aptly disturbing - makes you want to cringe and hate those who aren't fair.

6. The performances are impassioned and deeply felt to match the lavishly crafted digital set pieces.

7. Bluntly, I say - there are so many gorgeous bodies everywhere and yes, most of these are of men's. Sweet, isn't it?

My Absolute Rants

Of watching my back
Being the least priority
Forever waiting
Not talking deep.

Of missing those who aren't around
Missing my old friend, Bin
Wanting him to be alive
Daydreaming I could still talk to him
Wishing he's here to hug me - now!

Of writing things my lips cannot utter
Complaining about stupid things
Hating cerebral talks
Liking to be alone.

Of getting tired from learning
Yet loving learning so much
Forgetting things am not supposed to
Not forgetting the dreaded.

Of giving up easily
Holding on to those who slows me
Keeping my good side intact
Yet I feel like embracing the other side.

Of waking up to see a stalker's message
Getting scared all together
Wishing something sharp to struck me
Render me my death sentence.

Darn Plagiarist

I don't check out people in Friendster as often as I did few years back - I blame it on my severe attacks of laziness or maybe there's just nobody worthy checking out anymore (except of course, my beau's).

For some reason, I just checked out an ex-officemate's account and to my surprise, whatever she has "written" on her about me part looked so familiar. Ha! I wrote that myself months ago!

Not that I am trying to be perfect, in fact - I am far from perfect but plagiarism is so way beyond me and that is some place am not letting my name get stained at. If you cannot write your own darn piece, don't steal. Its not like we're talking about life and death situation here. Come on, don't give me this crap.

I love to write. It has been my talking medium since time immemorial. I have lots of well-kept notebooks containing all my insights, doodles, essays and poems I've lovingly and painstakingly written. You see, am not fond of talking and presenting. It’s not innate to me, so one could just imagine how much courage pills I have to take to be able to stand in front and do the talking.

Imagine how devastated I am to find out that somebody just copied my own darn work without my knowledge. And to make things even worst - she is in my Friendster's list. Not quite a smart move. Ha! One thing I have learned from the movie The Number 23 - "your sin will find you."

This is saddening and even maddening! And I cannot seem to get this thing out of my head.

You see, I breathe and practically live in writing - how dare that Celine (Ceyh) stain my place!

Good 'Ol Days

I miss the good 'ol days.

I miss the days when things seem forever.

Those days when one writes long letters. I miss the feeling of expecting, of long waits for the mailman to serve his purpose, that excitement to read that much awaited letter and the "trouble" you go through as you answer that letter back.

Those days when things seem more formal, personal and appropriate. When you talk to the person in flesh and not through sms.

Those days when you arrange for a meet-up, make a conscious effort to be there on time and prioritizing this over a gazillion of things. No excuses, ifs and buts.

Those days when you do your research - you really research. Go library hopping and burn yourself with all those pile of books and that dreaded smell of photocopied materials. I just have to say this - unceasingly troubling both my parents to buy me books because I just badly need them that particular night.

Those days when you never miss that certain boost and energy you get from all those classroom interaction - of debates, panting and temporary madness.

Those days when you patiently wait for the disk jockey to play your favorite song and you go nuts when he did. Haha. I don't know to you but me and my old friends were like that back then - admit that or not.

Those days when you don't master multi-tasking and nobody cares. I can hear now my former music teacher telling us to - "Focus, girls. Focus!"

For some reason, I am beginning not to like technology. And for someone who studied technology for 4 years in college and with technology attached to my job description, I am really going nuts. I don't appreciate technology as much as I did when I wrote my first line of codes in C language.

One can absolutely argue that life is a lot easier with technology around but I ask you back, does it really?

I look at my siblings and my students, they all want things to be done easily and virtually. While its cool to "talk" online, I think its way a lot cooler if you can talk to that person face to face - no pretensions and not to mention the luxury of watching that person's body language and facial expressions.

Oh well.

It’s just me talking.

Uh-oh.

I am just getting older.

Calvin Rocks

It is simply very impossible for me not to laugh, think and laugh some more with this "kid" around. One may hate him for all his antics and almost out of this world reasoning but you will love him, anyway.

These Days

Engrossed by cavernous thoughts
Figuring out what can be done with these lots.

Things do not make any sense,
I wonder – what is the essence?

Irked by all devouring fire,
I ask - why not cede and pursue such desire?

Found a source of delight in talking less,
Yet not a one notices.

Almost all has become a stranger,
And their voices – they don’t linger!

Captured by their deep eyes,
And their ceaseless lies.

Stabbed by these monsters,
Handing down only blisters.

To boohoo has become a black habit,
And behaving like a freak.

Somebody said, “All these are for your own good,
Hope you’ll realize this, dude.”

I talked back, “I know, I will soon leave this abyss,
Because I hold on to God’s promises.”

Daily Pray'r

Father,
Be in this relationship in a special way,
May we feel Your presence
Each and every day.

Grant us both good humor
To surpass our coming days, months, years;
May there always be much laughter,
May there always be less tears.

Give us strength and courage
To follow in Your will,
To trust You in the valley
As we do upon the hill.

Give us both the eyes of love
So we'll always see
The goodness in each other,
Secure us, Father, in Thee.

Give us words of kindness, Father,
Help us both to live
So our lips are ever quick
In saying, "I forgive."

Give us hearts that beat as one,
Bind us ever near;
May our love grow deeper, Father,
With each passing year.

Father, be in this relationship,
Keep our love brand new;
May we love each other, Father,
The same way that You do.

Amen.

Rum and Cola

It’s like rum and cola. I’m the rum, good on my own, but the cola makes it that much better.